This is what we do in our spare time.
IM SO DEAD.
there is some real inception shit happening here
there’s no way this is an accident
WHAT’S HAPPENING
Damn
I JUST-
I’m so done here
presented without comment
(via i-am-not-a-giantspider)
shoutout out to all my buddies who have shitty dads or no dads at all this father’s day, you turned out just great regardless, you can’t choose your family and you don’t deserve any negativity from them,and you don’t deserve backlash or guilt-tripping for cutting them out of your life if that’s what you need/ed to do and i love you all
(via i-am-not-a-giantspider)
Fun biology fact the color of a boy’s lips is also the color of the head of his penis
I read this and literally the next picture I saw was of John Green and I just screamed “DAMMIT”
Does that mean Misha has a pink penis head?
I just checked my husband and it’s true
if you’re married do you get to randomly shove your hand down your partners pants?
(via batch-slap)
and it is the most important line ever spoken in the history of our series
if you don’t reblog this i am judging you
this is the very essence of our fandom
it is our originsso reblog now
(via batch-slap)
you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started
Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself. So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out and I still got half a pie left.
BLESS YOU
(via batch-slap)
i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore
(via batch-slap)
taeyeon-9muses-rilakkuma-ohyeah:
Clever way of getting his features in there
cr: thqys
Utilizing the critical thinking skills and greater levels of maturity assumed by my college degree, I deduced that I could make butt pancakes.
i wasnt gonna reblogg but then
buttcakes
(via batch-slap)
| england: | someone go call america for me. |
|---|---|
| france: | how?? he's probably sleeping like a log-- |
| canada: | hold up i got this |
| canada: | aHEM. |
| france: | |
| england: | |
| canada: | WHAT TEAM?? |
| [stumbling and footsteps going down the stairs] | |
| america: | [bUSTS THROUGH THE DOOR] |
| america: | WILDCATS |
